I haven’t written for a few weeks as I’ve been trying not to think about it. We tried pre- seed on holiday and surprise surprise it didn’t work

Just been for dinner with inlaws and pregnant sister in law and her boyfriend. So fed up. Not really sure how everyone else manages putting on the brave face when everyone is admiring the new bump etc but any tips would be great.

I thought drinking a few glasses would help. I even thought consoling myself that I don’t see if lasting would help (as awful as it is to say) but it hasn’t. I’m really struggling.

Oh and tomorrow we’re at a BBQ where my best friend is announcing her pregnancy to our friends. Literally fuck my life right now. Why are we suffering like this? What is the reason? 

If I understood why I had to go through this I might be better but I don’t. I’ve always been pretty decent, I’ve always been honest, looked after everyone else, why am I being punished?


4 thoughts on “Help?

  1. Oh, Hun, I know exactly what you are going through. I could have written the last sentence. I’m sorry you have to endure this. I don’t have any answers, sadly. Just know that this process is transforming you into olive oil, diamonds, and gold. All three go through painful processes before they reach the end result. As for putting a brave face during a bump glorification session (barf), a good person to ask is Dubliner in 🇩🇪. She had to endure lots of bumps while she was in the wait. As for the BBQ, could you just skip it? I don’t understand why fertiles have to be all about themselves when they find themselves knocked up. It’s like the ability to empathize with anyone else goes out the window. Your emotional self care is much more important than you being used to feed your friend’s ego. I say skip it. As you can see, I’m struggling with this topic, too. Feel free to email me at if you want to chat.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks my love, it’s all just very hard at the moment. I’m feeling anxious as I’m due back at the hospital in a few weeks… I booked the appointment after my post op assessment in March where they were SO confident that I wouldn’t need to come back. It sucks doesn’t it? Thank you x

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, it was exactly the same this weekend. You can’t get out of it for want of not wanting to make it awkward in the future etc. It was ok in the end, I have a feeling my friend asked the others to follow my lead on mentioning it all, which was thoughtful of her.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s